An open request to the police, who surely read these updates:
I must confess that the past seven days have been among the most taxing of my entire life.
Not all of this is your fault...I'm pretty sure that you had nothing to do with the person who threatened me on Thursday, and it wasn't you who kicked a sleeping man in the doorway yesterday. You were also nice enough to not harass the woman whose feet were so infected that she couldn't walk yesterday afternoon. You did the compassionate thing and let her stay on the sidewalk with all her stuff.
However, you did arrest someone for sleeping last night, ticketed several other folks for sitting on stoops, and you entrapped the sister of a friend of mine in a theft sting. Not to mention the disabled man whose fifth-wheel you cruelly impounded before arresting him. And those are only the things that I know about. I haven't even gone through the police log yet today. I'm terrified of what I'm going to learn.
The truth is, I really need a day off. And I simply can't have that if you continue at this current pace.
And so I politely, respectfully, and sincerely request the following:
I'm asking you for a 24-hour moratorium on violating the civil rights of the homeless. Try it for just one day. One day in which you don't wake anyone up at night for sleeping, one day in which you don't arrest anyone for existing in public, one day in which you don't needlessly harass and intimidate kids on the park blocks. Just one day.
In that one day, two beautiful things will happen. You will experience the reality of actually "protecting and serving" without oppressing, abusing, or disenfranchising anyone, and I will experience the reality of sleeping in, soaking in some sun, playing my ukulele, taking a walk by the river, drinking an ample amount of quality beer, and watching old reruns of Star Trek: The Next Generation without having to worry that I'm about to get a text or a phone call from someone that's on the wrong side of your "enforcement".
This will not only benefit both parties, this will benefit the entire community. Hell, I'll even buy you a beer.
Please. Thank you. And you're welcome.